Phantom Baby

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been displaying all the signs of pregnancy - nausea, fatigue, headaches, vertigo (dizziness), anorexia (lack of appetite)... Add to that, I developed vaginal candidiasis recently which also points towards pregnancy because of the excess discharge and increase production of the hormone oestrogen. The acne has also returned, which is yet another hormonal related syptom (although this could also be due to an impending menstrual cycle).

One-home-test-kit-and-two-trips-to-the-doctor later and I'm confirmed "NOT pregnant". So what's causing all the symptoms?

Pregnancy was the only diagnosis that effectively covered off all the signs and symptoms I had been displaying. All the other differential diagnoses could only account for a couple of symptoms at best. Since the most obvious diagnosis had been eliminated, I was left with a list of differential diagnosis:

- Sinusitis (explains the vertigo)
- Anemia (explains the fatigue and vertigo)
- A gastric disorder (explains the nausea and anorexia)
- Myopia (explains the head-related symptoms and the nausea)
- Heat related (explains why the nausea is usually around midday)
- Psychiatric disorder (that presents with psychosomatic symptoms of pregnancy)
- Depression (which explains the fatigue and nausea)

That was about all I could come up with for the time being, although none of them seem very likely. At most, I can relate to the first four.

Two mornings out of the last three, I have woken up with my sinuses working over time. I've been taking some nasal decongestants, although if I really am pregnant, this probably isn't the wisest thing to do.

I took a blood test about three months back and everything checked out okay. I've been vegetarian for almost five years now and though anemia doesn't appear to be a problem for me, I took some precautionary measures and started consuming meat again - more specifically, beef. So if anemia were a problem for me, I think the amount of beef I have since consumed ought to have rectified that one.

Yesterday, I developed the old gastric problem that hasn't been a bane in my existence for a very long time. My stomach was churning with wind and I could hear the bubbling sounds from all the gurgling. Yet it deoesn't resolve the fact that all the symptoms began some two weeks earlier.

Myopia is a condition I have suffered from since I was nine years old. About two months back, I developed what was diagnosed as a bacterial eye infection. My power and astigmatism went hay wire. It is probable that the usage of an incorrect prescription could result in headaches, nausea and vertigo. After checking my eyes again two days ago, the optometrist discovered that the astigmatism in my right eye had increased by one. That's quite a significant increase.

I get my new glasses today so I guess I'll find out pretty soon if there any correlation between my symptoms and my eyes.

As for the other differential diagnoses... Well, I spoke to a friend of mine who had been trying to get pregnant for two years before she had hers and she said it was common to get pyschosomatic signs of pregnancy when you're really eager to get pregnant. Possibly, but I'm not exactly feeling over anxious to get pregnant. Sure I wouldn't mind if I were, but I don't feel bothered by the fact that I haven't gotten pregnant yet.

As for being depressed, well, I can't imagine why I would be. Everything seems to be pretty cool.

After dissecting everything, I'm back to the conviction that pregnancy answers all the symptoms perfectly, so perhaps the baby just hasn't wanted to express itself?

My last menstrual cycle was March 17. This the eighth week since that cycle. A pregnancy test kit is accurate at 10-12 days after implantation. Implantation takes about 2 days. That means after about 14 days, you should be able to tell if you are pregnant. Based on my cycle, I'm way past that 14 day window. If I'm pregnant, I ought to know it by now.

Conclusion: I still don't know what's wrong but I'm starting to think I'm hyperchondriac.